The Epitome of Athleticism

Apparently some sort of world competition has been going the past couple of weeks. I found this awesome clip from the games and it is the funniest thing I've seen all week:



(forgive me, I've had a rough week- the bar is set pretty low for things that make me giggle)

It did remind me of another sport that should be included in the Olympics:



but what's truly missing from the Olympics is this:

Sugar Kills

Surfing MySpace tonight, I came across this ad:










Unfortunately, the real ad is so much better- animated donuts and ice cream cones dancing around the twinks' heads.

Because in your early teens, at that weight, it is so Type 2 fake diabetes. One too many Ding-Dongs.

Fact-Check: Nick has diabetes. Type 1. I don't even know who Nick Jonas is, except he probably fucked Miley Cyrus. But dancing donuts because your pancreas is gimpy? Shame. Shaaaaame.

My Fucking Laptop Sucks Balls

I hate my laptop. My last laptop and I had a beautiful seven-year relationship. This ass has had to have a new power supply after the first one melted, and a new left fan after the last one started chugging along like a bad seventies porn soundtrack.

Now I have to take it back in because the optical drive is, at the least, schizo, and all of the sudden my left Shift and Ctrl key have decided to stop working. Luckily I have warranty, but it means I have to take it to the mall and have Ambercrombie stench in my hair for the rest of the night.

Thanks, Apple.











Good Girl.











Bitch.

Late Night TV is Bad For Your Self-Esteem

I am a night owl. I watch utter dreck at 2 AM. And I have cable. However, tonight watching hair metal videos because there honestly was nothing else on, I discovered some things: I am fat. I am unsatisfied. My partner is a flaccid joke. And my kitchen knives suck. Fortunately there is a pill for all of the above. Out of all the late-night ads this one struck me as the most perturbing:

Reason #98c Why Passing Out is a Bad Thing

So I passed out on my couch, again. The telly was left on. I woke up with a huge crick in my neck and wondering why I was dreaming of Bronson Pinchot. When I scrubbed the sleep from my eyes, I noticed Beverly Hills Cop was airing at the time and it answered all:

Call her Fred

Me and the Mister got a new kitty today. Her name is Romana. Here is a bad picture of her:









And here is a clip of her namesake (nerd warning! (and it is Romana Mk. I-Mary Tamm, not Mk. II- Lalla Ward)). YouTube is being snotty about embedding, so clicky on linky

Happy Fourth, Peeps

Psych

Shawn and Gus. July 18th.

And here's the original, for the Crockett and Tubbs fans:

WELLAH!!!

I love Paul Weller.

I'll say it again: I love Paul Weller.

Weller's new album was released last week (in the UK). I LURVH the new single.

Unfortunately, the coinciding video seems all too reminiscent of when I visit Adobe's main page in hopes of finding Solution X for Application Y (In most cases, Acrobat).

So here is Wellah's latest, produced by Adobe? (it's a joke, Adobe corporate!)



And check out his new record, 22 Dreams

I am not a corporate shill, he is just that good. Even if he's sporting a Harvey Birdman 'do...

Geezers on a Train

My heart a' flutters... all that's missing is Billy Bragg.

Not to be crude, but I so want to be the filling in that geezer sammich ;)

Convention Watch #1

As you all know, St. Paul is the the home to the RNC...

As some of you know, the State legislature is relaxing some 'blue laws' for the RNC
(and as some of less than us know, including yours truly... this story seems to be thrown on its ear- I cannot find original articles for this)...

As some less of of you know, the Twin Cities comes in second for bicycle transportation...

Ergo...

Some legislators are proposing ??????? for the RNC:

Free Bikes, no routes and 4am bar close??

Oh please, Saint Isadore... May your minions of the internet document this folly... and everyone PLEASE RIDE SAFE.

Comment on the NWA/Delta "Merger"

What's more shoddy- the CEO's spin on the merger or my Photoshop job on the CEO's spinning the merger?

(Insert) Safety Month

This month is Tornado Safety Month, or Tsunami, or Cyclone, or BatShit Crazy Ex Month... Just remember to cover your heads, kids.

Communal Living

While there is nothing like grabbing a hot lint dryer screen of some stranger's crud...

Feel free to post these around your own laundry quarters:

Kids in advertising

I was watching this ad today:


It made think of an earlier similar 'ad':

Happy belated birthday, Basher

Nick Lowe, still sexy at 59.

Re: new Camel packaging

thank goodness they kept the 'pissing man'.

Oddly enough, I grabbed the link form an easter egg site. Happy Easter, y'all!

Where have all the flowers gone?

Why

In the Information Age, no one protests anything? Meaningfully?

Why

The best protest singer/songwriter today laments politics in a country where he is not a citizen?

Billy Bragg. How we love thee. Those not familiar with the Bard of Barking, get your feet wet here.

And Billy, if you're reading this, I made this for you:

WTF??

While in the library, I was thumbing through this month's EGM and found this ad:












Since when did Gabe from Penny Arcade do PSA's? If that's the case, let's take it up a notch:











If you can't read the hoodie, think back to being fifteen and paying five bucks to go see these guys.

mommy needs a drink....

Open Letter to Bret Michaels

Dear Bret,

Thank you for letting the viewing public keep their Glucagon pens in the cupboard. Your grasp at an extra fifteen minutes is so saccharine your viewing public is developing brain tumors.

Please don't stop.

Love,
chia

Linky

Open Letter to Flavor Flav

Dear Flavor Foofy Flav,

You are an odd little troll, yet I am enthralled. I love your lack of grammar. I love that you had the balls to say your favorite book was 'The Cat in the Hat' without qualifying your selection with "child". I hope your quest for love continues to be unrequited so I can enjoy 'Flavor of Love 17: Flav vs. Fab Five Freddy'.

Love,
chia

Linky

V-Day Franchising

Inspired by Brandon Bird's SVU Valentines , I made CSI V-Day cards. Check 'em out:





































Yeah, I posted them late... I am now thinking up clever quotes for House Valentines . I figure a year should give me enough time to think up something other than, "Roses are red, violets are blue. Give me some Vicodin and f**k you".