I am a night owl. I watch utter dreck at 2 AM. And I have cable. However, tonight watching hair metal videos because there honestly was nothing else on, I discovered some things: I am fat. I am unsatisfied. My partner is a flaccid joke. And my kitchen knives suck. Fortunately there is a pill for all of the above. Out of all the late-night ads this one struck me as the most perturbing:
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